By Robin Buttler

In coaching, the focus for the client is the goal that they’re actually wanting to become their reality.  So often the first session you have with the client goes around and around as you attempt to ask the powerful questions that aren’t leading but will bring them to a place where they can FINALLY determine why they even want this to take place in their life.  I have found that asking the questions in a methodical way often doesn’t allow the client to dig deep for what they want to see happen.  One of my favorite questions to ask a client is, “if this situation could turn out the way you want it to, what does it look like?”.  Allowing the client to determine not only the goal itself, but what their plan is for the end result.  If they have thought it through and see the end results, it will be much easier for them to then identify what opportunities they have to set things into motion, face the conflicts and then toughen up their level of willingness.  

What is a goal, after all?  

A goal is an end result or achievement in which effort is directed. 

This is how the dictionary defines a goal—it is the first step in turning dreams into reality. The difference between a fantasy and a goal is that we don’t really anticipate achieving a fantasy. Goals are concrete things. To achieve them, we take bold, clear, achievable, intentional steps. Without a goal, we are just fantasizing about our desires, but we’re not making any steps toward genuine progress. There’s nothing wrong with being a dreamer. In fact, it’s sad when people are too afraid to dream. But dreams have to take shape, and specific goals give them shape and substance. 

Goals are the yardstick of life. We set goals to accomplish specific steps of progress, and we may need to set short-term and intermediate goals to fulfill our long-term goals. Goal setting is both art and science. We develop the skill by lots of practice. Some people are naturally gifted in establishing clear benchmarks of progress, but most people need some help to clarify the destination and the path to get there.

If you’re new to goal setting, get your feet wet with a few, small, personal goals. “Small wins” will keep you motivated and provide clear direction for larger goals.

Examples of “small wins”:

• Sending out appreciation cards to people who matter to you.
• Drinking one less can of soda a day.
• Finally getting your credit report to see where your credit stands.
• Making sure to tell your kids you love them at least once a day.
• Taking your lunch instead of going to the drive-thru at least once a week. 

The goals you’re working on should be challenging, yet inspiring.  It’s important for a client (or a coach) to set goals that really matter. If a goal doesn’t capture our hearts, it will end up in the trash can—and pretty quickly. Solid goals should make a difference in our sense of purpose, our vision for the future, and our most important relationships.

Identify and define one solid goal:

Example: “My goal is to begin to realize my dream of __________ (name dream) by taking the first action step which is _____________ (name step).”

List 3 short-term goals you have established:

Setting personal goals doesn’t have to be a big deal. Start small; make progress. It’s getting started that’s important.

The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it.

—Michelangelo Buonarroti, Renaissance artist