UNSTUCK AND MOVING FORWARD

Dr. Sherry Gaither

The theme of our May 2023 DRC Summit was, “What is Your Next?” The speakers were motivational, their topics were inspirational, and the information was transformational. So why is “your next” so important? Why do coaches challenge clients to keep moving toward what they desire? What keeps individuals stuck and unable to move forward? When does “stuck” become a way of life without recognizing it?

Let’s look at ten reasons why counterproductive thinking or behavior causes people to be stuck.

1. Failure: Past failures can have a profound impact on individuals, making it challenging for them to move on. Dr. John Maxwell author of, Fail Forward and Dr. David Ireland author of Failure is Written in Pencil; both agree that focusing on failure has the potential to sideline clients. Coaches empower clients with the tools to think differently: failing doesn’t make you a failure; failures are not permanent, and failures are momentary incidents.

2. Fear of the Unknown: Moving forward often involves stepping into the unknown, coping with change and uncertainty which prevents individuals from taking risk or embracing new opportunities. I recently celebrated a client who became a first-time homeowner. She admitted that she could have been a homeowner sooner had she not allowed fear to paralyze her.

3. Regret and Guilt: Feelings of regret or guilt about past actions or decisions lead to emotions that hinders progress and curtails momentum. Coaches empower clients to process their past by setting goals that focus on their future. Some people need therapy, others just need to stop looking in the rear-view mirror.

4. Attachment to Identity: Sometimes people define themselves based on their past experiences or roles and letting go can be challenging and discomfiting. Coaches help clients to do a reality check and uncover the truth about who they are, where they are, where they want to be and develop a strategy to get them there.

5. Lack of Closure: Without closure from unresolved issues, it becomes difficult to move forward. Coaches empower clients to see life as a book; each chapter is an opportunity to rewrite their script.

6. Negative Self-beliefs: Holding on to negative beliefs can inadvertently sabotage their efforts to move forward; clients get stuck in a rut of negativity. Coaches empower them to refocus on the outcome they desire rather than rehashing the things that frustrate, irritate, or hinders them.

7. Lack of Support: A lack of supportive relationships for accountability can make it more difficult to move forward. Clients need people around them who inspire them to be the best version of themselves. Coaches encourage clients to choose people who will stretch and challenge them.

8. Comfort Zone: Some individuals prefer to stay in their comfort zones, even if they are unhappy or unfulfilled. Coaches motivate clients to create concrete action plans that will help them to set specific goals and birth their dreams.

9. Lack of Motivation or Direction: Without a clear goal or purpose, individuals struggle to find the motivation to move forward, so they fizzle out and give up. Coaches help clients to determine their “why” and challenge them to persevere.
   

10. Procrastination and Lack of Discipline: Poor time allocation or a lack of discipline can prevent individuals from making progress. Coaches empower clients to prioritize tasks, determine non-negotiables, and follow through on set goals.

Most people get stuck and never connect the “dots” of their lives. Coaches inspire, encourage, and empower clients to move forward and embrace their “next”.